Question: I am considering marrying a practicing Muslim brother who lives according to Islam and wants to raise an Islamic family, but his family is not practicing and may engage in sinful activities. Is it Islamically permissible to marry him if he distances himself from their lifestyle?
بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم
الحمد لله رب العالمين والصلاة والسلام على سيد المرسلين وعلى اله و اصحابه اجمعين
Answer:
Nikah is a pure and sacred bond through which a man and a woman become lawful for one another. In this regard, the saying of the Beloved Prophet ﷺ serves as guidance for us, indicating on what basis marriage should be contracted.
عَنْ أَبِي هُرَيْرَةَ رَضِيَ اللَّهُ عَنْهُ، عَنِ النَّبِيِّ صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ قَالَ: «تُنْكَحُ المَرْأَةُ لِأَرْبَعٍ: لِمَالِهَا وَلِحَسَبِهَا وَجَمَالِهَا وَلِدِينِهَا، فَاظْفَرْ بِذَاتِ الدِّينِ، تَرِبَتْ يَدَاكَ»
“Hazrat Abu Hurairah (رضي الله عنه) narrates that the Noble Prophet ﷺ said: A woman is married for four reasons: for her wealth, for her lineage, for her beauty, and for her religion. So attain the one who is religious, you will be successful; otherwise, your hands will be covered with dust.” (Muttafaq ‘Alayh)
From this blessed Hadith, just as the qualities of a woman are highlighted, the same criteria apply to a man as well. In a man too, lineage, wealth, appearance, and religion are considered. In the present case, the man himself is righteous, but his guardians are sinful. In such a situation, marriage with him would be permissible, because Allah Almighty says:
“وَلَا تَزِرُ وَازِرَةٌ وِزْرَ أُخْرَىٰ” (القرآن)
“No bearer of burden shall bear the burden of another.”
In Nikah, kuf’ (compatibility) holds great importance so that no harm comes to the honor of the woman’s guardians. In this context, Imam Shami states:
(الکفاءۃ معتبرۃ من جانبہ) ای الرجل لان الشریفۃ تابی ان تکون فراشا للدنی (لا من جانبھا)
(درمختار مع ردالمحتار، ملتقطاً، جلد 4، صفحہ 194، مطبوعہ: کوئٹہ)
“Compatibility is considered from the side of the man, because a noble woman refuses to become the bed of an inferior person. It is not considered from the side of the woman.”
In matters of compatibility, the man is examined. Jurists state that the compatible match for a righteous woman is a righteous man, not a sinful one. Therefore, in the given situation, marriage with a man who is himself righteous and pious is valid. However, since the family environment described is completely against Islamic conduct, it is necessary to remain separate from such an environment. If the man wishes his family to be raised in an Islamic atmosphere, he should live separately with his wife.
Thus, if the girl’s family wishes to proceed with this marriage, they should ensure that the man agrees to provide a separate residence. In that case, a permissible solution may exist; otherwise, avoiding such a proposal is better.
And Allah Almighty knows best.
Answered by the Hafiz-e-Millat team
Verified by Maulana Naziem Qadri
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